top of page

Love- Hate Relationship with "Process"

Let's be real here. Majority of us would rather skip the process and just get "there".

Emotional wholeness without going through the "heart" work.

Dream job/ Fat bank account without putting in the hard work or courageously taking risks.

Let's skip the agony of waiting for our spouses and fast forward to the day we walk down the wedding aisle.

God's promises over our lives without winning the battles in the Secret Place.

I love miracles and very much believe in the God of "Suddenlies". I do believe that one moment can change the course of our lives. But while waiting for that moment, often there is a long process that we have to go through. Proverbs 17:3 "In the same way that gold and silver are refined by fire, the Lord purifies your heart by the tests and trials of life". Sometimes, we may think that God is pretty sadistic to let us go through the hardships of life.

"I know He can do it so why doesn't He do it?".

I tend to respond in either of these ways.

(1) Work harder, push harder, knock louder.

Try to make something happen. But that left me tired and frustrated. This sense of striving is very much familiar to me and I don't want to ever fall into that cycle anymore. Not when I know that I can trust God to do the heavy lifting and less of me doing it on my own strength.


(2) Try to come out of logical answer for God on why it's not happening.

Maybe God is building my character (true and Biblical). Maybe God feels that I not ready for it (also true). Maybe God is taking a lil bit more time to prepare the man for me. All these "maybes" are mostly true and Biblical. However, I find that being stuck in this Q&A cycle with myself may not be so helpful to me in the long run.

I find that Option 3 might be the better way to respond to the process that we are in.

Instead of fighting it or dismissing it, why don't we lean in to what God is doing and simply enjoy being with Him? God is more interested in being with us than getting us there. The journey instead of the destination. The relationship instead of getting it "right". When we rush the process, we miss out on the richness and the depth of the relationship with our Creator.

(Picture taken at a Cafe yesterday while I was pondering about this topic)

Posturing ourselves during the process

(1) Ask God, "What are You doing in me?", "What can I learn in this process?"

(2) Asking God to fulfill our desires instead of getting our desires met through an external event

(3) Focus on what God is doing, NOT on what He is not doing

(4) Cultivate a heart of thankfulness. Thanking Him in all circumstances

(5) A practical question to ask, "What are some skills/ knowledge that I can learn right now to prepare me for the "big thing"?"

(6) Wait with an expectant heart. Be on the look out to the nudge of the Holy Spirit for that "catalyst" moment for our breakthrough

(7) HAVE FUN!!!! Enjoy the journey!

The outcome of the process very much depends on God. How we go through the process very much depends on us. Trust the God of the process and have fun :)

Much love,

Pearly, an anti-striving woman who is still learning that not everything in life needs to be so serious or intense. She provides life coaching and inner healing sessions. She loves helping her clients find joy and fun in their process.


Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page